You Deserve Better

yes, I'm talking to you

Photo by Matt Hardy on Unsplash

Let’s get a little personal, shall we?

Have you ever felt that restlessness that starts as a whisper and eventually grows into a growl or a roar or a scream? Perhaps it shows up as a gradual awareness that your life could look very different. That you were meant for more.

I did.

My career looked incredible on paper—corporate job, impressive title, solid paycheck, 5 weeks of PTO (yes, really), 401(k), health insurance, the whole package. I loved where I worked… until I didn’t.

Years piled upon years, and my soul slowly started to feel crushed. My days and time and mental energy were organized by other people. It happened so gradually that I didn’t immediately realize what was happening.

But during my twelfth year, I joined a team Zoom call, heard the endless discussion about financials and quarterly goals, and felt the last part of my creative heart shatter.

I simply could not do it anymore. I’ll never forget that moment that broke me. I knew something had to change, or I would continue losing myself.

So I quit. And I started my own business.

Was it easy? No. Did I have doubts? Of course. Would I do it all over again? Yes. Always.

The more I share my story on Substack, the more I hear similar thoughts and desires from others. I’m nearly five years into my journey, and I want to share my experience.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about leaving the job and starting the thing. Maybe you’re ready to change lanes and do something completely new. Perhaps you’re eager to let go of a version of your life that technically works but no longer fits your true aspirations. You feel pulled toward something larger, or truer, or simply more yours.

While that change is necessary and beautiful, what many people don’t realize is how loud the fear can be.

Wanting something different means risking what you currently have: the paycheck, the title, the identity other people recognize, the identity you recognize. The routines that hold your days in place. Even the dissatisfaction can feel safer than the unknown of leaving the nest.

Here’s what I learned during my journey: when you call in a new reality, a lot of your old reality has to fall away. This may seem like everything is falling apart, but it’s actually making space for everything you’re calling in.

I want you to know that it may feel like the opposite is happening before the good things find you. You will question whether you’re making a mistake. But don’t let this fear consume you or force you to return to your old way of thinking.

When you decide you want something different, the familiar parts of your current life have to shift dramatically. Relationships might fall apart. Opportunities might be lost. Certain environments stop feeling like your safe space. Your boundaries change. The way you engage in conversation will be different. What you will and won’t accept will evolve. Even parts of your identity begin to morph.

You might mourn friendships that were built around who you used to be. You might outgrow ambitions that once defined you. You may even feel like you’re losing pieces of yourself.

In a way, you are. But not in the catastrophic sense your mind suggests.

When you move toward something new, the life you organized around the previous version of you can’t stay the same. That version of you built a world that matched your capacity and your understanding at the time. There’s nothing wrong with that. It served you. Honor that.

A life aligned with who you’re becoming can’t be sustained by roles, coping mechanisms, belief systems, or environments designed for who you were.

Your nervous system prefers the familiar, even when the familiar is small and no longer in your best interest.

Most of my growth came from how my relationship with money had to change. I left over a decade of financial security in search of creative freedom. And that’s when I finally discovered what true wealth and abundance actually mean.

Trust me: you are not watching your life collapse. You are watching it reorganize around a different center of gravity. Around a self who has clearer priorities and boundaries. Around someone who no longer fits inside old constraints.

You’re writing a new chapter. And that means old characters and settings have to end their story so new ones can be introduced and take center stage.

If you need to mourn what you’re losing, give yourself the time and permission to do that. But then realize how much space you’re making for what the next version of you desires.

How powerful and amazing is that?

Remember, dear friends, you have the power to create your own reality.

If you’re going through something similar, or if you’re thinking about making a big shift and want to chat, reach out. I’m always here to listen and support however I can.

In ink,

Allison

allisonink.com

With over 15 years of experience helping writers navigate drafting, revision, and publishing, I share insights, tools, and editor-tested strategies straight to your inbox. Subscribe for free or pledge $5 to support this reader-funded newsletter.