This happened to me right before I went to nursing school. I’d been working for the government for 3.5 years. Monday through Friday kinda job. I hated it so much! But I just kept saying I have a good job, why mess that up? I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, but never thought I could do it.
I was out taking a smoke break with a guy that normally went out there with me, and while we were talking he asked me two questions.
Why not do it? What if it did work?
I talked to my husband. To figured out if it could work with our life (it was right before Covid too).
It was an extremely difficult time in my life, but I never quit, and I have been a nurse for almost five years now. With a BSN.
That’s incredible, April! Oh, and to start right before COVID, wow. What a time to dive in, I can only imagine.
Sometimes all it takes is that one external “push” to give validation to everything you’ve been exploring internally. I’m so glad you listed to what your heart what telling you.
I too am so glad I listened, becoming a nurse was meant for me. It was seriously one of the hardest times in my entire life. But I did it. And have a bunch of stories to show for it. It’s crazy how something as simple as words can change someone’s entire life.
YES! Oh, THIS is so important - what was probably a fleeting conversation with a coworker (from his perspective) literally changed your life. Words matter! :)
Allison, this is so good - I'm taking this with me today: "you are not watching your life collapse. You are watching it reorganize around a different center of gravity. Around a self who has clearer priorities and boundaries. Around someone who no longer fits inside old constraints."
Oh, my friend. Thank you for penning this. As you know from our conversations (and likely from how much of a bleeding heart I am on this app), I deeply resonate with this. I think one of the biggest hangups for me at the moment is knowing WHERE to go if I were to make a change. I know I long for more. I know my soul is screaming. I know my shoulders are carrying the tension of holding everything together when the same weight is crushing me.
I know I want more. I know I NEED more. But I don't know what that more is. I just want to write. That's it. I want to write and create and have freedom with my time. I've been kicking around the idea of helping other writers with their writing, especially with developing and writing meaningful male characters, but I don't tangibly know what that would look like or how I could sustain myself and my family with it.
Meanwhile, every day, I'm trading my time for money in hopes of someday having enough time and money to enjoy it? That's a broken system.
My dear fellow soul friend, I hear you loud and clear. From everything you’ve shared with me, I feel like you’re so close to the edge of making a leap. There’s only so much one can take before a break happens.
And it’s really hard to do this when you have others who depend on you for support. My husband and I don't have children, so that, I’m sure, made my situation slightly different than those of you who do have tiny hands and hearts who need you.
I truly believe that what is meant for us will find us, and you are radiating the energy of being ready to accept what’s yours. I know you’ll keep searching and writing and showing up. And I’m grateful to be a friend on your path.
I relate to this so much. Plus, I found that the part of me that fell away was around my spending habits. For years, I didn’t think I could quit because of my standard of living. Then, I took the plunge and guess what? My need to shop and collect all but evaporated. My life is so much more fulfilling that I don’t need so many things to fill that empty space I used to feel.
I would love to know one habit or one thing that fell away once you became self-employed. It’s just so interesting to see others on this journey.
YES, Emily. Thank you for sharing that. When we take time and space away from what society tells us we need, we find the internal drive for what we actually need. I’m so glad you discovered that about yourself.
Mine is similar. Because I had a cushy job, I could purchase whatever I wanted. I traveled internationally multiple times a year and always flew first class. I lived on the top floor of a high-rise in the center of downtown Chicago. I could go out and not look at prices, ever. But I realized that I did those things because I could - not because that was actually who I was.
The financial shift was a big lesson that I need to internalize in order to grow and evolve. And like you so eloquently said, I don’t miss those things at all. We still travel a lot because that’s a core part of my identity and always will be (immersing myself in other cultures), but now we have land in Colorado, and I’m getting chickens in the spring, and I stay home with my husband and my dog, drink wine by our wood-burning fire, and read books. And I couldn’t be happier.
Long-winded answer and I hope others see this comment because that shift is scary, but once it happens, it’s like a breath of fresh air. I feel SO much lighter now.
I left my corporate job this year in favor of writing and becoming a teacher! I relate so intensely to this feeling of being crushed in the corporate world! I was so tired of feeling like a leech on societies resources without giving anything back! Great Article!
How wonderful that you found a path that brings you joy and gives you a sense of giving back. I completely relate to that sense of doing something that helps individuals rather than simply adding to the “working machine” that traps us. Thanks for reading, Joseph.
This is such an excellent post, and the timing is surreal! After countless years in burnout-mode in accounting and finance, I'm thinking about leaving the job and starting the thing. You've helped push me in the right direction, which I think my heart already knew was right but just needed that external validation. Thank you!
Yes!! Oh, Emily, this warms my heart. If my experience helps even one person shift their path, I'll be grateful. Your heart always knows. :) It just takes time to reach the point where we're ready to lean in and trust. I wish you joy and luck and would love to stay in touch and follow along as you start the thing. ;)
I was looking forward to reading this one, and you don’t disappoint!
I left a career last year - similar to you but different because I was very happy and content where I was and the mass layoffs were not something I had planned.
The result has been a year where I’ve had to realign myself around new goals, setting up a new business, and reimagining a new career trajectory.
The saving grace for me, has been holding on to my core values in my new direction: those of giving sustainable value and helping others by leveraging my own experience and expertise.
As a sole provider of two small kids, the feeling of my prior identity collapsing has been terrifying.
I’m coming out the other end now, and I’ve also come to accept that this big change doesn’t happen overnight (you yourself are 5 years in - a testament to the time it takes).
Anyway, no real point here, other than my full support and joy that we have connected here on Substack!
I so appreciate your words, Jenn. Identity change is paramount and terrifying, especially when you have others who depend on you and need you to remain stable in some aspects. This is what makes everyone’s specific situation uniquely theirs.
What you’ve been building on here is making such a difference to writers, and it’s a testament to - like you said - your values. I’m grateful for our connection and friendship. Thank you for being here.
I'm in this space right now and had a hard day of feeling like I'm putting so much work into changes and not seeing results. I desperately need (not want, need) out of my current job but 2 kids and a husband require me to keep working at least part time until I have a better feel for what's next. I'm so motivated and I'm going to keep going. I just have to keep pushing. Even on the days when it feels like I'm not making progress.
Thanks, Lauren, for sharing this. It's so hard to maintain that feeling of energy and motivation when progress feels invisible. And yes, when you have others who depend on you, making that leap has to be timed accordingly, also taking into account their needs. I'm sending you positive energy and hope you find a balance and an escape soon. Thank you for reading and for being here.
Allison, I've felt connected to you from the beginning. And it's no surprise now that your experiences here ring true to my own. You were just braver than I. I am so happy you didn't let fear stop you. It is so debilitating, but I also feel it is such a fake. Our heart's dreams and desires will ALWAYS overcome it, if we let it. Although I was pushed off the cliff, whereas you jumped, I can say for certain that your words are so true. Gosh, I was making good money, had it all, even the flexibility of working from home, but I was so unhappy. Once we are free from that tunnel vision of money shaping our world, we see what else is there. And my goodness, there is so much more. ♥️ Thank you for sharing your story here! I am so happy for you. Keep going!
Thank you, Hannah. I appreciate you, your perspective, and the energy you bring to our little community here.
I think there’s so much more to this “money” aspect. Like you said, you had it all and still felt unhappy. There’s something so powerful to that reflection. There is absolutely so much more. But it’s hard to break free from the system that we have to function within each day, that also has many benefits.
I look forward to continuing to watch you grow as a writer and a friend to those of us here. 🤍✨
I appreciate this perspective tremendously Allison. My life has been in such turmoil lately, I have been clutching on to any kind of stability I can. But it is such good advice; being open to change, no matter how scary. And while I'm not in a place to chuck everything, I've been finding excitement and reward in stepping into new realms.
Thank you, Jay, for being part of my little space here. I always appreciate your thoughts and perspective. Turmoil is heavy, in so many shapes and forms, no matter how many times things have dragged us down in the past. I hope those little pockets of excitement and freshness continue to find their way to you.
I find myself in the opposite space, considering leaving a business I built over 9 years. But the theme is still the same, I’m calling in what I need next
Also in the same space, redoing most of my life and some days its just scary. I've repressed most of my creative side for years believing i needed to do the same thing most people here have done. Am shifting to writing my first middle grade book and letting that side of me out. And I'm so much calmer.
Oh, I love this. It sounds like your inner creative side (and inner child) now has the space and room to be expressed and grow. We see this template of what we should be doing. But who was that template built for? And who built it? Not anyone that had our best interests in mind, that’s for sure. Thank you for sharing.
I’m in a temporary job at the moment and I’m counting down until the end date. I’m getting really excited to be able to refocus on my writing. My husband has suggested I take time into looking into publishing more seriously, which I hadn’t before (thinking I’d post it on the internet for free) so having time to figure this out is something I’m looking forward to, to see if I can do it and not just dream it.
That’s incredible! How exciting that you will soon have the time to focus on what you’re actually passionate about. They are so many avenues for self-publishing that are approachable and cost effective for new authors, allowing you to share your work broadly and enjoy royalties. This is such an exciting phase for you. :)
This one is speaking to me so strongly. As a person who is at the 6 week in period, it’s a blessing to know you and listen to your 5 years of experience. Last week I got 241 recommendations as a top candidate for very high paying jobs. My resume is ready and it’s tempting to just send it out. But I’m trying to stick to this. Every thing you wrote is what I’m experiencing. Your post was what I needed to stay grounded. Thank you for posting 💛
I feel this, Nat! If this helps - when I quit and was debating what to do next (knowing that the call to do my own thing was loud), I still sent out resumes and explored other corporate jobs! I even had a few "final" interviews. But I was forcing myself to play the part during those moments. That actually gave me even more clarity that self-employment was the right path for me.
I'm glad this essay is helping you stay grounded, and you know I'm here if you want to chat!!
Thanks Allison 🤗🥰, you are so sweet. Yes I’m afraid that I’ll fall into the same trap again. I don’t know if the doubts get stronger or if the quiet down, the more I go into this. But I owe it to myself to stay the course and see how this plays out because I already know how the corporate world works.
This really resonated with me, especially the part about the whisper turning into a roar.
I’m at the other end of it now. I’ve retired and retrained, and I’m proud of the work I did. It gave me stability, security, a solid life. But if I’m honest, when I look back at the end of my career, there’s a quiet ache.
I sometimes wish I had followed my heart sooner. Chosen meaning over financial safety earlier. Trusted that whisper before it had to become a breaking point.
Security isn’t wrong. It feeds families. It builds foundations. But there is a cost when your creative or truer self is put on hold for too long. I felt that cost.
What I appreciate about your piece is that you don’t romanticise the leap. You name the fear. The grief. The identity shift. That’s real. Reinvention isn’t just exciting — it’s destabilising.
If anyone reading this is feeling the early whisper, I would gently say: listen to it. It doesn’t mean burn everything down tomorrow. But don’t ignore it for decades like I did.
There is something very tender about reorganising your life around who you are becoming. I’m doing that now, just later than I expected. And it is still worth it.
Thank you, Nat, for sharing your experience as you look back through the lens of retirement. That’s so valuable to hear how decisions made along the way, over the years, impact the hopes and dreams of your future self. We can’t be reckless and totally carefree, but we can strategically balance passion with realism. Thanks for reading.
This happened to me right before I went to nursing school. I’d been working for the government for 3.5 years. Monday through Friday kinda job. I hated it so much! But I just kept saying I have a good job, why mess that up? I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, but never thought I could do it.
I was out taking a smoke break with a guy that normally went out there with me, and while we were talking he asked me two questions.
Why not do it? What if it did work?
I talked to my husband. To figured out if it could work with our life (it was right before Covid too).
It was an extremely difficult time in my life, but I never quit, and I have been a nurse for almost five years now. With a BSN.
That’s incredible, April! Oh, and to start right before COVID, wow. What a time to dive in, I can only imagine.
Sometimes all it takes is that one external “push” to give validation to everything you’ve been exploring internally. I’m so glad you listed to what your heart what telling you.
Thanks for being here and for reading.
I too am so glad I listened, becoming a nurse was meant for me. It was seriously one of the hardest times in my entire life. But I did it. And have a bunch of stories to show for it. It’s crazy how something as simple as words can change someone’s entire life.
YES! Oh, THIS is so important - what was probably a fleeting conversation with a coworker (from his perspective) literally changed your life. Words matter! :)
They sure did. I’m not sure if I would have done it without his push.
Allison, this is so good - I'm taking this with me today: "you are not watching your life collapse. You are watching it reorganize around a different center of gravity. Around a self who has clearer priorities and boundaries. Around someone who no longer fits inside old constraints."
Thank you, Gretchen! I’m so glad those lines struck a chord within you. I appreciate you being here.
Oh, my friend. Thank you for penning this. As you know from our conversations (and likely from how much of a bleeding heart I am on this app), I deeply resonate with this. I think one of the biggest hangups for me at the moment is knowing WHERE to go if I were to make a change. I know I long for more. I know my soul is screaming. I know my shoulders are carrying the tension of holding everything together when the same weight is crushing me.
I know I want more. I know I NEED more. But I don't know what that more is. I just want to write. That's it. I want to write and create and have freedom with my time. I've been kicking around the idea of helping other writers with their writing, especially with developing and writing meaningful male characters, but I don't tangibly know what that would look like or how I could sustain myself and my family with it.
Meanwhile, every day, I'm trading my time for money in hopes of someday having enough time and money to enjoy it? That's a broken system.
I need to go, but I don't know where to go to.
Hi John, I'm in a writer's group that has opened up many doors for me. Let me know if you want to check it out.
I love this community so much.
My dear fellow soul friend, I hear you loud and clear. From everything you’ve shared with me, I feel like you’re so close to the edge of making a leap. There’s only so much one can take before a break happens.
And it’s really hard to do this when you have others who depend on you for support. My husband and I don't have children, so that, I’m sure, made my situation slightly different than those of you who do have tiny hands and hearts who need you.
I truly believe that what is meant for us will find us, and you are radiating the energy of being ready to accept what’s yours. I know you’ll keep searching and writing and showing up. And I’m grateful to be a friend on your path.
I relate to this so much. Plus, I found that the part of me that fell away was around my spending habits. For years, I didn’t think I could quit because of my standard of living. Then, I took the plunge and guess what? My need to shop and collect all but evaporated. My life is so much more fulfilling that I don’t need so many things to fill that empty space I used to feel.
I would love to know one habit or one thing that fell away once you became self-employed. It’s just so interesting to see others on this journey.
YES, Emily. Thank you for sharing that. When we take time and space away from what society tells us we need, we find the internal drive for what we actually need. I’m so glad you discovered that about yourself.
Mine is similar. Because I had a cushy job, I could purchase whatever I wanted. I traveled internationally multiple times a year and always flew first class. I lived on the top floor of a high-rise in the center of downtown Chicago. I could go out and not look at prices, ever. But I realized that I did those things because I could - not because that was actually who I was.
The financial shift was a big lesson that I need to internalize in order to grow and evolve. And like you so eloquently said, I don’t miss those things at all. We still travel a lot because that’s a core part of my identity and always will be (immersing myself in other cultures), but now we have land in Colorado, and I’m getting chickens in the spring, and I stay home with my husband and my dog, drink wine by our wood-burning fire, and read books. And I couldn’t be happier.
Long-winded answer and I hope others see this comment because that shift is scary, but once it happens, it’s like a breath of fresh air. I feel SO much lighter now.
Thank you for being here and for reading.
Chickens and a glass of wine. Sounds like bliss!
🍷🐓📚
Thanks for being on the other side of this huge shift and sharing.
I truly hope this helps. Thank you for being here and for reading. 🤍
I left my corporate job this year in favor of writing and becoming a teacher! I relate so intensely to this feeling of being crushed in the corporate world! I was so tired of feeling like a leech on societies resources without giving anything back! Great Article!
How wonderful that you found a path that brings you joy and gives you a sense of giving back. I completely relate to that sense of doing something that helps individuals rather than simply adding to the “working machine” that traps us. Thanks for reading, Joseph.
This is such an excellent post, and the timing is surreal! After countless years in burnout-mode in accounting and finance, I'm thinking about leaving the job and starting the thing. You've helped push me in the right direction, which I think my heart already knew was right but just needed that external validation. Thank you!
Yes!! Oh, Emily, this warms my heart. If my experience helps even one person shift their path, I'll be grateful. Your heart always knows. :) It just takes time to reach the point where we're ready to lean in and trust. I wish you joy and luck and would love to stay in touch and follow along as you start the thing. ;)
Thank you for the encouragement! It means a lot.
🤍
I was looking forward to reading this one, and you don’t disappoint!
I left a career last year - similar to you but different because I was very happy and content where I was and the mass layoffs were not something I had planned.
The result has been a year where I’ve had to realign myself around new goals, setting up a new business, and reimagining a new career trajectory.
The saving grace for me, has been holding on to my core values in my new direction: those of giving sustainable value and helping others by leveraging my own experience and expertise.
As a sole provider of two small kids, the feeling of my prior identity collapsing has been terrifying.
I’m coming out the other end now, and I’ve also come to accept that this big change doesn’t happen overnight (you yourself are 5 years in - a testament to the time it takes).
Anyway, no real point here, other than my full support and joy that we have connected here on Substack!
I so appreciate your words, Jenn. Identity change is paramount and terrifying, especially when you have others who depend on you and need you to remain stable in some aspects. This is what makes everyone’s specific situation uniquely theirs.
What you’ve been building on here is making such a difference to writers, and it’s a testament to - like you said - your values. I’m grateful for our connection and friendship. Thank you for being here.
Thanks you Allison! Appreciate that, very much!
I'm in this space right now and had a hard day of feeling like I'm putting so much work into changes and not seeing results. I desperately need (not want, need) out of my current job but 2 kids and a husband require me to keep working at least part time until I have a better feel for what's next. I'm so motivated and I'm going to keep going. I just have to keep pushing. Even on the days when it feels like I'm not making progress.
Thanks, Lauren, for sharing this. It's so hard to maintain that feeling of energy and motivation when progress feels invisible. And yes, when you have others who depend on you, making that leap has to be timed accordingly, also taking into account their needs. I'm sending you positive energy and hope you find a balance and an escape soon. Thank you for reading and for being here.
Allison, I've felt connected to you from the beginning. And it's no surprise now that your experiences here ring true to my own. You were just braver than I. I am so happy you didn't let fear stop you. It is so debilitating, but I also feel it is such a fake. Our heart's dreams and desires will ALWAYS overcome it, if we let it. Although I was pushed off the cliff, whereas you jumped, I can say for certain that your words are so true. Gosh, I was making good money, had it all, even the flexibility of working from home, but I was so unhappy. Once we are free from that tunnel vision of money shaping our world, we see what else is there. And my goodness, there is so much more. ♥️ Thank you for sharing your story here! I am so happy for you. Keep going!
Thank you, Hannah. I appreciate you, your perspective, and the energy you bring to our little community here.
I think there’s so much more to this “money” aspect. Like you said, you had it all and still felt unhappy. There’s something so powerful to that reflection. There is absolutely so much more. But it’s hard to break free from the system that we have to function within each day, that also has many benefits.
I look forward to continuing to watch you grow as a writer and a friend to those of us here. 🤍✨
I appreciate this perspective tremendously Allison. My life has been in such turmoil lately, I have been clutching on to any kind of stability I can. But it is such good advice; being open to change, no matter how scary. And while I'm not in a place to chuck everything, I've been finding excitement and reward in stepping into new realms.
Thank you, Jay, for being part of my little space here. I always appreciate your thoughts and perspective. Turmoil is heavy, in so many shapes and forms, no matter how many times things have dragged us down in the past. I hope those little pockets of excitement and freshness continue to find their way to you.
I find myself in the opposite space, considering leaving a business I built over 9 years. But the theme is still the same, I’m calling in what I need next
Yes, the theme and sensations are very much the same. 🤍🌱 I hope your new chapter arrives with beautiful energy.
My writers group is open to almost all writers. The woman that runs it does talk with everyone first to make sure its a good fit on both sides.
Thank you for sharing this so others can learn and possibly benefit.
Its been a huge piece of this shift for me. A very talented group of writers, some already published multiple times.
Also in the same space, redoing most of my life and some days its just scary. I've repressed most of my creative side for years believing i needed to do the same thing most people here have done. Am shifting to writing my first middle grade book and letting that side of me out. And I'm so much calmer.
Oh, I love this. It sounds like your inner creative side (and inner child) now has the space and room to be expressed and grow. We see this template of what we should be doing. But who was that template built for? And who built it? Not anyone that had our best interests in mind, that’s for sure. Thank you for sharing.
I’m in a temporary job at the moment and I’m counting down until the end date. I’m getting really excited to be able to refocus on my writing. My husband has suggested I take time into looking into publishing more seriously, which I hadn’t before (thinking I’d post it on the internet for free) so having time to figure this out is something I’m looking forward to, to see if I can do it and not just dream it.
That’s incredible! How exciting that you will soon have the time to focus on what you’re actually passionate about. They are so many avenues for self-publishing that are approachable and cost effective for new authors, allowing you to share your work broadly and enjoy royalties. This is such an exciting phase for you. :)
This one is speaking to me so strongly. As a person who is at the 6 week in period, it’s a blessing to know you and listen to your 5 years of experience. Last week I got 241 recommendations as a top candidate for very high paying jobs. My resume is ready and it’s tempting to just send it out. But I’m trying to stick to this. Every thing you wrote is what I’m experiencing. Your post was what I needed to stay grounded. Thank you for posting 💛
I feel this, Nat! If this helps - when I quit and was debating what to do next (knowing that the call to do my own thing was loud), I still sent out resumes and explored other corporate jobs! I even had a few "final" interviews. But I was forcing myself to play the part during those moments. That actually gave me even more clarity that self-employment was the right path for me.
I'm glad this essay is helping you stay grounded, and you know I'm here if you want to chat!!
xo
Thanks Allison 🤗🥰, you are so sweet. Yes I’m afraid that I’ll fall into the same trap again. I don’t know if the doubts get stronger or if the quiet down, the more I go into this. But I owe it to myself to stay the course and see how this plays out because I already know how the corporate world works.
This really resonated with me, especially the part about the whisper turning into a roar.
I’m at the other end of it now. I’ve retired and retrained, and I’m proud of the work I did. It gave me stability, security, a solid life. But if I’m honest, when I look back at the end of my career, there’s a quiet ache.
I sometimes wish I had followed my heart sooner. Chosen meaning over financial safety earlier. Trusted that whisper before it had to become a breaking point.
Security isn’t wrong. It feeds families. It builds foundations. But there is a cost when your creative or truer self is put on hold for too long. I felt that cost.
What I appreciate about your piece is that you don’t romanticise the leap. You name the fear. The grief. The identity shift. That’s real. Reinvention isn’t just exciting — it’s destabilising.
If anyone reading this is feeling the early whisper, I would gently say: listen to it. It doesn’t mean burn everything down tomorrow. But don’t ignore it for decades like I did.
There is something very tender about reorganising your life around who you are becoming. I’m doing that now, just later than I expected. And it is still worth it.
Thank you, Nat, for sharing your experience as you look back through the lens of retirement. That’s so valuable to hear how decisions made along the way, over the years, impact the hopes and dreams of your future self. We can’t be reckless and totally carefree, but we can strategically balance passion with realism. Thanks for reading.